I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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