wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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