I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
