I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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