Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize