I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Did I show you my penis last night?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
