Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
