you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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