Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i will never coherently bang her
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
