I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
