Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
