There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
