I like to think it a success when the cops are called
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
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