You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
