my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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