i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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