if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
