I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
