you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
