Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
