he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just found puke in my bra..
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
