She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize