Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
