For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
