You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize