Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
