All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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