I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize