Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
