Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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