thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
