he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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