it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
