I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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