we're blogging at a bar
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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