OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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