before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
