I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
