You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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