You can't special order awesome
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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