the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
