i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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