So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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