I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize