You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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