I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
