THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
