We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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