heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
