I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
