I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
