From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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