my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
