That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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