Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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