She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
