when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
