I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
