If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
