So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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